4:55am. Hanging out with Gordon in Australia, socializing with a big group. We’re getting to be really good friends. It’s late at night. We’re talking about stuff – PGM, other stuff. Lizzy’s there. I’m trying to explain some things about magic to her. Gordon finds that hilarious. We have this binder – mine? – full of Greek. Talking about TV shows, all kinds of things. I’m happy because we’ve gotten to be friends. Negotiating the other friendships in the room. Also, reminiscing with Lizzy about the past: figures we have known.
Wake up, go back to sleep, huge dream about being in the theatre. I’m playing the little sister to the lead. The lead’s being played by Mrs. Maisel. I don’t know my lines at all. Didn’t study them, didn’t have time.. I’m going to have to wing it. The guy who hired me is really upset. He’s railing at me. I don’t have my script with me. I say, I don’t know why I did this. Acting’s really not for me. He says, well, you’re never gonna work again. But in the meantime, just take the script and study up the character here.
So I do. I’m trying to understand everything I can about the character. Memorize a couple lines if I can. She’s kind of a ditzy blonde heiress with a husband who drinks and is secretly gay. She has a lot of mannerisms, says “Gawd!” a lot. The lead actress is talking to me, very nice, trying to salvage the situation. This character, there’s something very fairylike or pixielike, she’s always going for the “long shot,”the “long stick,” the “eight ball,” where she doesn’t do things the normal way, but she’s always trying to go for luck. She doesn’t want to concentrate on anything or work for it. So I’ve determined that even though I will never work in acting again, I’ll give it my best shot tonight. Maybe I’ll even do better than I expect. Anywhere, there’s only like 5 people I know in the audience, so who cares if I screw up? I’ll just help these other people get through the show. Even though there’s a singing number, I don’t have my costume or everything! In the last moment I’m in the wings, there’s a scene about a cruise ship, there’s a clown wandering on board, telling his sad story. I’ll be on in 5 minutes. I’m very very concerned. When I wake up, I’m very surprised I’m not going to have to do this – I was so immersed in trying to remember and help.